A step away from Mother's Day!

   
A Step Away From Mother's Day!

      Many of you may know that with my union in music and life, I have two wonderful step kids.  I don't talk much about it, but with Mother's Day looming close I couldn't help but take a minute to share my experience in this part of our lives.
     I walked into our union as a twenty something, only knowing the responsibilities of a self sufficient young woman, and have since learned to carry many "hats" as my journey with Stuart has moved forward.  Being so much younger then the kids mom, and also, making sure not to cross the "sacred thresh hold of mother-dom" hasn't always been easy.  At times as a step mom you feel invisible, but other times it can be amazing.
    With two teenage step kids now, it is exciting to see them growing into young adults.  They are so capable, and it is exciting when they have a break through or get to see their potential unfolding.  I must say, I find "Mother's Day" a bit annoying when people try to say "it's your day too".  I don't believe in making something out of nothing, and in no way am I treated like a "mother" and why add fuel to the fire when you have a "real mom" that is very focused on the importants of her role in all of this.  I do feel like maybe some day the kids might just look back and see some of the quiet behind the scenes work I've done to support them. The times they've come home feeling like life was too much to handle and I gave them a pep talk, a good snack and a smile. Then again, maybe they won't...but isn't that the trick in life?  Sometimes it is the good things we do that go unnoticed that have the most impact when we leave this earth.    I don't do a "good job" as a step mom I suppose for the credit...I just love my husband and his two offspring...and ultimately want them to have a chance at happy and healthy lives once they leave the nest.
     So, to all you step mom's out there...keep up the kind work. To all you mom's out there...remember, no one can take away your bond with your children, including us step-mom's. We aren't a threat...we are a potential team member and friend to you and your kids.   We step-mom's are well aware that we are low on the totem pole of the "blended family system", and while that isn't always the most rewarded role, sometimes it does provide a window to see things that can be helpful to the family as a whole.  I always joke that I married Stuart and his "ex-wife".  Honestly, we are all family and what happens to one of us, effects all of us. So why not try to love everyone through this journey.
   After all, I read a study once that said "12 out of 12 people don't make it out of this world alive". I figure why not spread as much love around as we can before it's over!  So happy Mother's Day to you guys...afterall...in order to make it on this planet, we all had to have at least one!!! :) hilary